As we had uninterrupted conversation at dinner, i finally had an opportunity to take in the man that was sitting next to me at the table. I am such a lucky girl! I have never met a more genuine, sweet, caring, strong, and handsome man before. The longer we have been together, the more we realize how perfectly orchestrated our love was and is. don't get me wrong, there have been many many times where it has been down right hard to make it through a day devoted to each other, but even those days have made what is...our marriage. :)
One of my favorite things is talking to my husband...one on one. When i mean "talking" with him, that doesn't mean speaking in a louder voice across the room as to be louder than the noise the kids are making. Or trying to make conversation while changing a diaper or doing the dishes. That is talking, but when you are by yourselves - no kids - that is when real talking can happen. It is a shame that when we as spouses, finally get the kids to bed and the house is quiet, we would rather turn on the tv or our iPhone instead of talking with our spouses.
We have been at fault for this. We were almost making it a routine - as soon as we got the kids to bed, we would find our comfy spots on the couch and just tune out the world around us by catching up on the latest Netfilx show. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with watching tv or taking time to just relax and unwind from the day - because it is exhausting being a parent and having a full time job....most days just watching tv and doing nothing sounds so inviting - but we really need to keep intimacy alive in our marriages. By intimacy, i don't just mean getting "kinky," but opening yourselves up to your spouse. Just spending time with your spouse is intimacy.
Like i said, we were falling into this rut of just vegging out once the boys were asleep. One night, Ryan made the initiative to do something different. He told me to close myself up in the office and have some alone time while he put the kids to bed - i am not going to lie, i just sat in the office for about 5 minutes thinking about all the things i could do in that short time frame - read, write, check email, blog, exercise, stretch, play piano or guitar. haha. I played our piano - relaxes me. Once he had the boys down for the night, he turned a video sermon from church on (instead of netflix haha). Lo and behold, the sermon was on marriage. (our church posts videos of past sermons on their website - we had missed this one). It wasn't the fact that we watched the sermon that was so great, but the conversation that we had after we watched it. We sat in the office for about an hour just talking about everything - the boys, our marriage, our future, our disagreements, our weaknesses, what attracts us to one another, and our relationship with God. It was amazing how "connected" i felt to Ryan. It was a beautiful thing.
Intimacy is not just sex. Intimacy is not just talking. Intimacy is oneness in every way. That is the gift that marriage brings...that can bring if we allow it and make the effort.
My challenge for you is: get the kids down for the night and make time for intimacy with your spouse. Watch a sermon on marriage even. Have dessert together. Snuggle up in bed. Spend true time with your spouse tonight!
Leaving our Wedding Reception
On a totally different note: Our doodlebug started Preschool last week! I could not sleep the week that led up to his first day. To think that i would miss 3 hours of his life made me emotional (yes, i know i am sad). When i dropped him off, he went straight in and started playing. I stood there at his classroom door for a minute kind of dumbfounded. I thought there would have been more tears shed that morning...from him. ( i had plenty) He love his school! That makes me love it. I am also loving the one on one time that i am getting with little Adam. I am cherishing those 3 hours with him...he has needed time just for himself.
I just can't believe how fast my boys are growing up. Thank you Lord for my two little nuggets!