Friday, May 3, 2013
Make The Effort!
Wow. what a week it has been in our home. Over the course of last weekend, Adam developed a fever of 105. His temperature stayed about the high for 4 days! He had no other symptoms, just cranky and very hot. One night, his fever was so high that his body literally radiated heat. I took him on the couch so i could keep a closer eye on him...and because he wouldn't sleep. haha. I am usually a cold sleeper. My whole body is usually cold when i get into bed. Ryan can testify to this, because i use him as my human blanket to warm me up every night. That night with Adam on the couch, his body was so hot from the fever that i was hot from laying next to him. Poor thing. It was a little scary. It felt like the sleepless nights and constant temperature checking would never end. But, alas, it did. He was diagnosed with Roseola virus that pretty much just has to run its course.
Adam has been fever free for 3 days now and is back to his bubbly self. Thank you Lord! And my sleep is back to normal too.
Not only was it a rough week with the boys, but Ryan was working extra hours in side work (carpentry - wood floors). All week we had not had one meal together. It was weird. We are the type of family that have sit down dinners together - no tv and no computers...it helps that you can't see the tv really well in the dining room. haha! Even if our kids are loud, screaming, and learning to feed themselves (Adam) we make it a point to eat together at the table. This week, i realized how much i missed that time. Not only that, but how much i took for granted how nice it is to have Ryan home in the evenings. Our lives have always been kind of scattered, so to speak - from the military and college. But i look forward to that family meal when we are all at the same place together.
It really is true, that when things are gone...you realize how much you took them for granted.
Which brings me to marriage.
Through this week, i have realized how important EFFORT is in a marriage. I have been caught up in the boy's lives and Ryan has been caught up with work...that we had neglected US. I know that life does that - sicknesses come, change happens, taking care of kids, work and stress pile up - but we as married couples really need to be aware of our spouses and the "life" of our marriages. During those hard times, even though you may not feel like you have any energy left within you, that is when you need to put forth more effort for one another. Make time together. Do something special for the other. Help the other out. Don't allow the stresses and the business of life take over your marriage. If you go too long without spending time with one another...it can be so easy to get comfortable and adjusted to that. You're married, but not passionately married.
We have been married almost 6 years...we are still considered newbies in the marriage category, but i am happy that i am learning these things now...in the hopes that it will help our marriage and our family in the years to come.
I not only want my marriage to last....i want it to be full of life!
Figure out what your spouses' "love language" is - affirmation, physical touch, gifts, acts of service, or quality time. This will help! It is so easy to become selfish when you don't spend time together. I have been at fault for that. When i have been at home all day taking care of the boys and Ryan has been gone working...somehow i allowed thoughts of bitterness come in. "He should be home." or "This isn't fair." or "why won't he just do this?" you catch my drift. And those times can be lonely....and we as wives Wait on our husbands to make the first move. We automatically assume that the man is supposed to be the initiator. I have found out that is not always true. haha! For the sake of your marriage and family....make the first move! Make the effort! I guarantee you that when you do something for your spouse it will better your marriage and rid you of feeling sorry for yourself.
Take those "Love languages" and do something for him. If he is working long hours and you wish he was home - go take the kids and visit him at his work (take a treat or a card). The other day, i took the boys by Ryan's work and we gave him a power bar and Gatorade to help him through the day. We only got to see him for 3 minutes...but it helped. It gave Ryan more initiative to work hard and realize he has us at home rooting for him.
Make a dessert that he loves.
Put the kids to bed early so you can talk and relax together.
Put on something he loves to see you in. ;)
I know this all sounds one sided - do this and do that. But this is your marriage! Isn't your marriage worth more than you holding onto your pride?
And remember, these hard times are usually for a season. Make your journey through this season count and together.
Sorry, i have rambled! This is what God has been working in my heart all week. I hope this helps out anyone else who is trying to have a passionate marriage and family.
Have a happy day!