It's Been A While

OUR TODDLER


Hello everyone....or to whoever reads this.
It has been a while since i have last posted anything.
Our, now toddler, James, has been taking up most of my time lately. As i go through each day i have also realized that i am not only a mother and a wife, but also a laundry mat, a maid, a nurse, a grocery clerk, a cook...i could go on and on. But you get the picture - that once you have become a mother...there are many other roles that fall under that title.
My favorite thing to do with James is still rocking him in the rocking chair. That is mommy time and cuddle time. I look forward to that everyday. Even if the morning or day is so chaotic...as soon as i start rocking him in our chair...i can breathe easier.
So i mentioned that James is a full on Toddler now. Curiosity should be the name of this phase in his life. He explores anything and everything he can reach. As he touches everything he can, he always looks to see what mine and his daddy's reactions will be. i have found that disciplining is a lot harder than i thought it was going to be. I basically told myself "the teen years will be the hard ones for disciplining." Disciplining a toddler is tough i must admit. They can't quite grasp what they are doing is wrong or harmful to them yet. Plus, the word "NO" becomes only a noise in the background to him. It is hard and tiring, but staying consistent with everything is key. And to make sure you and your spouse are on the same page is always a plus.
I hate to see my little boy cry when he is hurt or i tell him no. But those tears lead to my favorite part of being a mommy - holding and loving on him. You can never go wrong with loving your baby.
Well, Christmas is just in a couple of days. And i am so excited! In the beginning of the month i would have said differently. We as humans tend to get so consumed with money and making sure everyone has presents. And if we don't go all extravagant and expensive...we feel like failures. Ryan and i both do not want to put that kind of emphasis on Christmas with our kids. Who knows if we will have jobs next Christmas? What would we tell our kids then? We really want Christmas to be spent celebrating Jesus, His love, and spending time with others.
I know James is still very young to even comprehend anything about Christmas, but we think it is good to start young.
The plan is for Christmas Eve - when i get home from work i will start baking tons of goodies as well as a birthday cake for Jesus that we will have for dessert that night. After we have dinner and dessert - right before James goes to bed, we will sit around the tree as Ryan reads the Christmas story and sing some carols. Doesn't that make you feel all warm inside? haha!
I am so thankful for the many blessing that God has given me. I love Him, i am so smitten with my husband, and i have so much joy being James' mommy.
Merry Christmas Everyone!



JAMES MARCHING

OUR BABY CHICK

For a halloween costume party, we dressed up James as a baby chicken. Ryan and i were the farmers. He was so cute in the costume that i wanted him to wear it everywhere - to visit people, the grocery store, church, to bed....haha.

CREATIVE ROMANCE

Sometimes in life...well, a lot of times in life, we get so busy that we tend to forget or neglect the things that were given to us as great and wonderful blessings. Jobs, finances, worry, TV, stress, and many more all contribute to one thing - they suck away our time...time suckers. haha. As any married couple, you deal with the dry times of finances. Money seems to be one of the biggest struggles in our marriage. We don't want to go and blow away tons of money on clothes and entertainment, but it is hard when you know that you are restricted.
My husband works so hard...everyday. I don't think he has ever had a "day off" in his life. Sometimes he has a hard time seeing results of his hard work. I try to remind him - the roof over our heads, the food in our fridge, our electricity, and not to mention our most expensive thing of all...our son, James. Just because we can't eat out every night or see movies once a week does not make us poor or lack anything...i don't think.
When we are limited by money, it leaves a lot of room open for creativity. For example, this past weekend, Ryan took me and James to Big Bone Park to go hiking/walking. We drove all around on that beautiful morning and saw some beautiful scenery out in the Kentucky country. When we got home we had a nice lunch full of sandwiches and fruit. After that, we decided to clean out the garage. I know that does not sound like much fun, but it was something that desperately needed to be done...plus afterwards we were proud of ourselves with all the extra space that we made in there. That night after dinner, we pulled out our corn hole set (that Ryan made a while back) and played. James watched while us rednecks played. Once James was tucked in for the night, Ryan taught me some guitar, which turned into a mini worship session for Jesus. It was a great day! And not one of those things cost us money.
For all of you married women out there, try to be open with your husband and how you are feeling. I have found that they are not mind readers...at least my husband is not. There have been times where i have felt lost in the shuffle between Ryan, James, and Ryan's work. As wives we are to encourage and be our husband's cheerleaders....but we also need that same encouragement to take care of our kids and to keep the home in order. So be honest with one another. I was honest with my husband, and he graciously listened. My whole thing is - when you are married and have kids, romance seems to be on the back burner...the burner over at your neighbors house. that is how much we tend to forget/neglect it. Try to keep the romance alive! And if you are like us and do not have tons of money to spend on spectacular dates, be creative. We cook together with music playing. The other night, while i was cleaning up the dishes after dinner, we had Norah Jones playing in the background. My husband came and slow danced with me in the kitchen. It is moments like that that are more special and more romantic than a dinner and a movie.
So, be encouraging, be honest, be romantic, be creative. Don't forget all of the blessings that God has blessed you with. And don't waste your time worrying.

ONE YEAR AGO

Our baby boy is now considered a Toddler. He turned a year old on September 15Th. The night before the big day, i could not sleep a wink. I tossed and turned throughout the night thinking about our baby James growing up. I was suddenly taken aback to our old apartment, restless as well. The morning of September 15, 2009, i woke up early to take a nice warm shower, finished packing, and Ryan and i hopped into the car to head to the hospital.
We arrived there around 7:30am. It seemed as though once we stepped through those glass doors, everything became a blur. I was being induced, because our little boy was getting too comfortable in the womb - plus my younger brother was being deployed to Iraq the following day. I wanted James to meet his Uncle before he left. I got into my very "stylish" hospital gown as the nurses prepared me to be induced. As they checked me out, i was already 2 cm dilated and having contractions - i did not know it. The first part of the induction was some kind of bulb syringe thingy that they placed up in me. This was probably the most painful thing i had ever experienced. With no drugs, no numbing medicine, they placed this small balloon that was hanging onto a hanger that looked untwined type of thing. I was nervous to say the least when i saw this contraption. Once that was in, i had to wait until i was 4cm in order for this balloon thing to fall out. Eventually it did. (i do not recommend for anyone to try that) Then on came the Pitoson. That medicine sure brought the contractions on really fast. I would try to walk around, bounce on an exercise ball, and have my husband rub my feet to relieve some pain.


At one point i was laying down, wondering when my water would break...then i felt a small gush of water come out. "mom, i think i just peed on the bed." My water had broken.
I waited until i was 7cm dilated to have the epidural. Honestly, i was more worried about having the epidural than having a baby. Everyone had to leave the room except for two nurses. They raised my bed up and i sat over the side draped over one of the nurses shoulders. She was so sweet and talked me through it. The epidural nurse put the epidural in my back so quickly that it only felt like a tiny sting. just a minute later i felt the relief that the wonderful drug could give.
Beside my hospital bed was this machine that kept watch of James' heart rate. it was loud - his heart beat. That was the one thing i would listen to the whole time i was there. Any little flutter i would ask, "is he okay?" By the time 8pm rolled around, i was comfortable but getting tired. Biggest Loser premiere started that night, so that was the one thing i watched. My doctor was also a big fan of the show. She came in and checked me out and saw that i was already 10cm and his head was crowning. I had no idea. The epidural literally gave me no feeling down below. The doctor and i both decided to wait until Biggest Loser was over to start pushing. By the time 10pm rolled around, James was ready to come out.
In our low lit room, it was me, Dr. Oak, Ryan, my mom, and two nurses. Dr. Oak sat on the end of the bed as Ryan held one of my legs and a nurse held the other one. We talked as i pushed. Every time i felt a contraction i would take a deep breath for 10 seconds then let out a big push. Dr. Oak wanted Ryan to do the counting. "1....2........3.........4." "You have to count faster!" i said as i was holding my breath. The whole delivery part was so calm and peaceful, nothing like the movies make it. At 11:15pm, James came out and into our world with a loud cry. He was so beautiful...and slimy. They placed him on my chest for just a few seconds, then the nurses whisked him away to be cleaned and warmed up. I tried to keep my eyes on him, but i couldn't see him from where i was laying. I started to feel really weird. I was bleeding very heavily. My Dr. was trying to act calm, but i could tell from the look in her eyes that something bad had happened. The nurse brought over a lot of gauze to stuff in me to stop the bleeding. Then the "shakes" started to happen. I could not control my body - started to shake uncontrollably. I was freezing cold, so the nurse brought over towels and put them around my upper body. I wanted to hold my baby, but i couldn't. Family started coming in to see our new little blessing as i was being stitched up. Ryan scooted everyone out seeing that the Dr. needed to keep stitching. My mom watched James as Ryan came and sat beside me. I started to cry. The epidural was wearing off and i could feel every stitch that she was putting in me. Thankfully, the epidural nurse came back to give me another dosage to make me comfortable. Our doctor started to stitch me up around 11:20 until 6:15 the next morning. The bleeding finally stopped then. i was relieved and very tired. I did not get to hold James until that next day. Once i did, i never wanted to let him go. He was so precious...looked exactly like his dad. I could not believe that i was now a mommy. That day, i felt like my life started all over again.

Longest 3 Weeks of My Life

My hubby Ryan is in the military. He has been in since he graduated from highschool back in 2001. Luckily in December he will be officially out of the military. I will be able to give a sigh of relief when December rolls around. Until then...i must hold in my breath.
The past three weeks, he was away with the military for some training. He had to do this last year too, only it was for 2 weeks. But this time, families were not welcome to visit. I just had to see my husband and i wanted James to see his daddy too. After me and james took an 8 hour road trip to NC to visit family, we headed back toward KY. Ryan was transporting people back and forth from the base in Independence, KY that same day. We actually worked it out to meet each other at some random McDonalds in Dry Ridge for about 10 minutes. It was such a God thing. It was so good seeing him about 1 1/2 weeks into the 3. But it was almost like a tease, too. haha.
Everyday at home i tried to have my days planned out....literally. I had a list of things to do everyday. Yardwork, clean, finish laundry, take bathroom wallpaper down, visit family, etc. No matter how busy i was i would still think of Ryan. The nights were the worst. After having James tucked into his crib, i could finally collapse on the couch for a bit for some relaxation. I was almost hesitant to go to our bed, because i knew that he would not be there.
I realized how much i took my husband for granted while he was gone. For some reason, it never failed that some kind of appliance or electrical thing would stop working while he was gone. Our garbage disposal and dishwasher wouldn't work. Anyways...i missed how i could turn in the middle of the night and feel him next to me, i missed seeing james laugh and wrestle with his daddy. Mostly i missed feeling like our home and family were complete.
It was a very long yet busy 3 weeks. The best part about being away from your loved one for so long is that you spend so much more extra time making up for lost time. :)
I am blessed that Ryan is not overseas or being deployed like so many other military men out there. And that he was only gone for 3 weeks. I really admire the women and families that go 3 months to year without their loved ones. I tip my hat off to ya'll. So if you have a spouse who is in the military or even just a spouse in general, be sure to hold them a little tighter tonight!

The Right To Live

In my past blogs i have shared many happy stories and pictures. I really want to share with ya'll something that really hits my heart hard. This is only my opinion, but i will state some facts. You can take it however you want, but i feel like i need to vent on this subject.
I took James for his 9 month check up about a week ago. Luckily, this time he did not have to have any shots, but they had to prick his heal with a needle to get some routine blood work done. He handled it very well, just like a brave boy. He did not know what was happening. All he knew was that he was laying on a doctor's table being held down by an unknown nurse. He looked up at me with those beautiful blue eyes and smiled. Then the nurse pricked his heal. His little eyes began to fill with tears. I wanted to knock that nurse down and hold my baby boy. It killed me to see him in pain.
This made me think of abortion. The word even brings shivers to my spine, anger through my blood, and sadness in my heart. How can anyone do that to a child? They are not a fetus, they are a child...a human being.
-thousands of children have been killed in car accidents
-100s of thousands have been killed from diseases
-over a million have been killed by abortion
The choice to kill an innocent child...there should be no choice. There is hardly any excuse anymore to get pregnant. people are practically handing out condoms to kids these days. Does it not register??
So many women are not blessed with a fruitful womb. I do have a baby boy, i am blessed, but i found out that i have endometriosis. Endometriosis usually does not allow you to bear children. I am worried that i will not be able to have more kids to add to our little family in the future. To be designed to bare children and just kill them inspite...is a slap in the face to women, don't you think? Women were made to have children. TO mother them...instead of aborting, give the child to someone who isn't able to have kids of their own.
Being pregnant, having James, and mothering James has been the most rewarding thing i have ever done. To help bring life into the world. To give someone love.
Yes, i know there are situations such as rape, but there are as many options to bring a baby into the world as there are options to birth control.
Birth control is different from abortion. Birth Control is preventing life. Abortion is killing life. Before conception=Birth Control. After conception = Abortion.
I believe that everyone needs to see and hear step by detailed step about what abortion is. And every woman should be made to have an ultrasound as well. From hearing the first heart beat, to seeing him/her wiggle on the ultrasound screen, to feeling that first kick in your belly, and to holding life...
Life starts at conception. Did you know that the when you have sex, the chromosomes in the male's sperm already hold what the sex of the baby will be?
It killed me to have James' heel pricked, but it was for his own good. To think that children are not here, because the parents thought it was for "their" own good.
Just because they have not taken there first breath outside of the womb does not mean that they are not alive.
I encourage you, though it will be very graphic, to go to Prolife.com. They have videos and pictures of what abortion does. You can even go on Youtube and find prolife videos about the baby's growth in the womb - that is awesome!
They have a voice as well...Will you choose to listen.

Trip to New York

For the 4th of July weekend, we loaded up our car and drove 10 hours to NY. We thought it would be better to drive through the night with James - he would sleep through the long drive. So, we left at 830pm - after James' last feeding- then headed for the open, yet crowded, road. James slept until 1am. Then he stayed awake for an hour or so and then fell back to sleep. I was planning to sleep that entire time he was asleep, but that did not quite pan out. Ryan and i ended up staying awake and talked. It was nice to be able to have multiple conversations without being interupted. By the time the sun was beginning to rise, we were regretting staying up. The sleep deprivation was hitting us hard.
We arrived at the Tringale Lake House around 6am. The fresh clean air woke us up. The whole three days we were there was spent hanging out with family, laughing, swimming in the freezing cold lake, boat riding, eating, and site seeing. It was wonderful! And just what we needed. Needless to say, we wish that we were still there at the beautiful Lake House in NY.


JAMES RELAXING ON THE HAMMOCK


HE DID NOT MOVE FOR 15 MINUTES


LAYING IN THE GRASS BY THE LAKE


OUR LITTLE BOY


THE BEAUTIFUL LAKE HOUSE

The Power of a Praying Woman, Wife, and Mother

I was encouraged to write this blog from the books - Power of a Praying Wife, Power of a Praying Woman, and Power of a Praying Parent. (that was a mouthful) If you are a woman, wife, or parent these three books are great to helping you open up your eyes as well as your heart to how the Lord can work through you...through prayer.
As a new mom, i have hardly anytime to myself, let alone time to spend with Jesus. Basically the only "me" time i get is..."pee" time. And even in some occasions, my little boy is in there with me. haha.
As a single woman, i had all the time in the world to spend with God. When you have a strong relationship with the Lord, i believe that makes you stronger for other relationships. Before i began dating my husband, i was already in prayer for him and our future. I know that sounds purty weird, but i did.
When i married my husband, i took on a new role. not only was i a woman, but also a wife. I still needed "me" time, time with God, and also time with my husband. It was a hard transition, but an enjoyable one. Being a wife was all that i ever wanted to be. It's hard going into a marriage and trying not to have unrealistic expectations. I thought every single word from mine and my husbands mouth would be words of love and poetry. I thought we would always be in marital bliss. As soon as we got home from our honeymoon....reality and responsibility smacked us in the face and knocked us on our fannies. The great thing about being a wife is that you have a husband who is your - companion, friend, lover, encourager, helper, and shoulder to cry on. Remember, as a wife, you too have to be those things to your husband. It's not 50 50, it's 100 100.
Once i felt like i was excelling in the Wife category, i became pregnant and had our wonderful baby boy. As my husband and i took turns holding our little bundle of joy in the hospital, it was almost like we were in that "honeymoon" phase again. Until reality and more responsibility came shooting at us through a baby's loud cry. I was a nervous wreck for the first few months of James (our son) life. I took every choice that we had to make so seriously. like "should we give him a passy?" "did he burp enough?" "should i let other people hold him?" I was being an overly paranoid parent. The few first nights at home, James would wake up around 1am hungry. I would take him into his nursery, try to change his diaper by the dim light in the hallway (i did not want Ryan to wake up nor did i want to blind James) After i would put a fresh diaper on him, we would head to the rocking chair in the corner of his nursery room. As i sat there, half asleep, rocking and feeding James, i realized, that i was a mom. Even after 9 months of being pregnant and hours of labor, i did not realize how much responsibility weighed. How could a 7 lb 12 oz baby boy add up so much responsibility and take so much time? Now i had three very different roles - a woman, a wife, and a mother.
I know that i am very blessed to have such a wonderful husband who is there to help me be a mom. When you are married and have kids, it is very important for the husband and wife to be in unity. I heard someone say one time - "The husband is the 'head' of the household, and the wife is the 'heart' of the household." i believe that is true. They both need each other. They both need time alone with each other without kids, time with the kids, "me" time, and most importantly time with the Lord.
So i said all of this to say, that you don't need to be in front of an altar or on your knees to talk to God. THere are times when i can't make it to church. And quite frankly, the only time i am on my knees is either when i am chasing after James or i am picking/cleaning something up off the floor. God will listen even if you are praying while changing a diaper, taking out the garbage, doing the dishes, folding laundry, or rocking your baby to sleep. You can use anything as an act of worship to Him.
Prayer is definitely key to all three of those roles. Even if it is just praying "Lord, give me strength for today." As women, especially moms, we take on way too much sometimes. It is so comforting to know that we have a God who wants to take on everything that we can't.

WE ARE MARRIED!


9 MONTHS PREGNANT


I AM A MOMMY!


OUR LITTLE FAMILY

DADDY'S LITTLE MAN

Yesterday we celebrated our first Father's Day as a family. To be honest, i was more excited about Father's Day than Mother's Day. Don't get me wrong, i love a day dedicated to me as a mother, but there was something about celebrating my husband as a new daddy. I not only took that day as a chance to remind Ryan (my hubby) how great of a father he is to James, but also how great of a man he is in every way.
So i am going to take a few moments to brag on my husband a little bit.
Ryan is - a handy man
- a hardworking man
- a funny man
- a sweet man
- a relaxed man
- an athletic man
- a goodlooking man
- a musical man
- a fatherly man
- a godly man.
Those are just a few of the characteristics that he has. I am so blessed to be married to such a wonderful godsend guy. I am so happy for James to have a dad who is such a great example and role model for him. I would not mind it in the least, if James grew up to be just like his dad.

JAMES WATCHING HIS DADDY MOW THE YARD

JAMES WANTING TO PLAY GUITAR LIKE HIS DADDY

5k run

My husband signed us both up for a 5k race in Covington. I was so excited...but very nervous. THe last time that i had ran was before i was pregnant. I knew this was going to be a challenge.
This morning, i woke up to the alarm and also the sound of heavy rain beating against our roof. Ryan and i just looked at each other and laughed, knowing that we would be running in the rain. My first thoughts were, 'maybe there won't be a lot of people there...and i could actually stand a chance at winning.' When we arrived at the race spot, there were surprisingly a lot of people there. Dedicated Runners. I had to make a more realistic goal - finish the race.
All of the runners crowded around the starting line waiting for them to tell us to run. It was a little scary - you basically are stampeded by other runners trying to get ahead of you. Ryan held onto my hand until we made it out of the crowd. THen began our 3.2 mile run. Did i mention that the entire time we were running it was pouring rain. That made it a little more harder but also more invigorating. At one point i stepped into a huge puddle of water and had water all in my shoes. We kept going. It was nice running with my husband talking...and of course breathing hard. haha. We set a good pace and were doing great. I had a new goal in mind - to not walk, and keep running.
By mile 2, everything was going great except i had awful pains coming from my feet. It almost felt like i had a rock inside my shoe. We kept going until we saw the finish line. Ryan told me, "we need to finish hard." So we sprinted to the finish line. As soon as i made my way passed the finish line i found a spot to take off my shoes and see what was inside my shoes. Turned out, that i had 3 blisters- shoes + wet socks rubbed my feet raw. But, i finished! Yay! Now i am resting my feet after a big breakfast meal from Bob Evans. Yum!

My First Blog

Being my first blog and all, i thought i should blog about the one thing that takes up most of my time and also brings me so much joy...my son, James Ryan Burkart. James is turning 9 months in 4 days. It seems so impossible to say 'the past 9 months have gone by so slow, yet, so fast.' Once you are a parent, you will understand. THe days seem long, but the months/years go by so quick.
As i was putting James down for his nap, i turned on his baby worship/lullaby CD. As soon as i heard the first song play, i was taken aback to the very late hours of the night rocking and feeding him. When i would hear his newborn cry, my motherly instincts would kick in. It was amazing to me how i could still function without any sleep. I would pick him up out of his pack n play and take him to rocking chair in the corner of his nursery. Every night when i would feed him and rock him, i would turn on that same worship lullaby cd.
My body hated getting up every couple of hours, but my heart loved every minute of it. There is nothing like rocking your baby to sleep when the whole house is quiet.
James is far from being a newborn now. Instead of me constantly having to carry him, he is crawling and attempting to walk. He is slowly turning into a independent little baby boy. I am so proud but also sad. I still picture him as that little newborn that i would rock to sleep in the wee hours of the night.
You can take this as a reminder, if you have a baby, take in every single moment....the moments go by fast.