Thankful Thursday

Hi there. I cannot believe a week has already gone by. Everyday kind of seems like a blur when you're chasing a toddler around constantly. My sweet 3 year old niece went back to NC yesterday. I teared up saying goodbye to her...i am not a fan of goodbyes...especially when it comes to family. It was great having just her up here for a week. James was her little tag along buddy. He loves his cousin Abbi! The past couple of weeks have been filled with family visiting. This week Ryan's dad and stepmom are here visiting from Vermont. Tonight we are having them over for dinner. It's been great seeing family...but i have to say, i miss spending time with just my little family. Ryan has been working so hard with school and work lately. This week he will be wrapping up his summer semester in school - this past week he's been busy. Finding time for one another has been difficult. He goes to school on Mondays and Wednesday nights...he usually doesn't get home till around 10pm. On Tuesdays i have my bible study group. I only get to see him for a few minutes when he gets off before i leave. The time in between and around have been filled with studying, homework, family visiting, grocery trips, church, etc. It's been a full load this month. Often times when couples don't spend a lot of time together, they tend to well....drift apart. Though that may be the case, there are ways to stay connected. Even though i am constantly ready to entertain, bathe, play, disipline, instruct, watch, and feed a toddler at all times...i get to stay at home while doing this. Don't get me wrong, being a stay at home mom is like a never ending job. You don't really have the luxury of clocking in and out. After you put your kids to bed, you can breathe a little sigh of relief and prop those aching feet up, but all the while crossing your fingers hoping that nothing wakes them up! Like i said before in a previous blog, that by being a stay at home mom you not only watch the kids, but you cook, clean, do laundry, pay bills, get groceries, etc. But there are some great perks to being the stay at home mom that i am. I get to see James at his best and worst. It's a blessing that i am able to stay at home with him. I owe it all to the Lord and my husband's HARD work! I think as wives we tend to neglect all of the labor that our men put into for providing for our families. They are out there battling in the work place for us! We are able to have the title "stay at home" moms because of them and their dedication....well, at least i am. Ryan and i have been able to move passed all the useless arguments of "who works harder" or the questions "well what do you think i've been doing all day?" or "you're tired? please." We put in as much heart and devotion in our "jobs." But a big part of being a stay at home mom and wife is to make sure your house and family are safe, loved, and on track.
"A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings good not harm,
all the days of her life.
...she works with eager hands.
...She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family.
..She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
..Her lamp does not go out at night...
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed,
her husband also, and he praises her: many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
- portions from Proverbs 31

Husbands provide the home, wives provide the tone and atmosphere of the home. That is why it is so important for us as husbands, wives, and parents to have time alone with God. If you are working, going to school, or have children it is difficult to find time...but there is always an opening. For me, i try to read my bible before i get out of bed - if james wakes up before i do it then i plan to spend time with God when James naps. if he is cranky and cannot nap, then i push it back to after he goes to sleep for the night. Somedays, it just does not work out entirely. God knows our hearts and understands our lives as parents and spouses is hectic.
It is also very important to pray for your spouse as well as your kids. That is a good way to set the "tone" of the house. Ryan has been going through a very difficult time with his job lately...all i'll say it's just not looking good. on top of school, he has been dealing with so much! Every where he goes there is stress - stress at his work and stress at school. I want our home to be a place where he can unwind and feel safe from all of those stresses.
My dear husband has surprised and amazed me so much with his faith. Granted, we have been through many jobs and stressful situations since we have been married. His faith has grown and been refined over the years. We have absolutely no idea what is ahead for us as a family, but we are full of hope. Ryan has taken the role of being our spiritual leader in our house. Just by seeing him act out of faith instead of impulsive anxiousness...that simply amazes me and holds me accountable.
Anyway, i said all of this to say PRAY FOR YOUR HARD WORKING HUSBANDS! That is one of the best things we can do as their wives. Pray that they won't be "workaholics" or "lazy." Much of a man's identity is found in his work. Pray that they will always have doors opened for them to walk through without fear. Pray that he will always be paid well fro the work that he does. Pray that they can find time to rest and enjoy life. Pray also for yourselves as wives - to find ways to encourage them. You may be going through some lonely times with your husband working and going to school or whatever. Try not to become discouraged. It's only a season. Take this time to "work" on yourself and the atmosphere you want in your home. Remember, one of the reasons why he is working so hard is so you can be a stay at home mom.

Thankful for the day: My hard working husband
~sunny days so james and i can go outside
~family
~weekends!
~our house
~that James takes naps everyday!
~God's provision

Have a thankful day everyone!

*Here are two pictures of James typing on his keyboard while Ryan was typing a paper for school early this morning.*

Mommy Grace

Last night, Ryan and i took James to the library. We wanted to do something different...also something that did not cause us to spend money. haha. Ryan took James up to the kid area to play while i looked at all of the glorious books. (i love books!) I found a book titled "Mommy Grace" by Sheila Schuller Coleman. The title stuck out to me. After glancing through the book, i thought it would be worth to read it.
The book so far has been good. The book basically goes into detail about the authors own experience regarding the infamous guilt of being a mother. We as moms, always have the "shoulds" and "should nots" popping in our heads everyday. Such as, "i should have spent more time playing with my children," "i should have prayed over my kids more," "i should not have yelled at them so much," "i should not have let them watch so much tv" and so on. I have been there. My son is only 1, and i have felt the guilt of motherhood.
The first chapter is labeled "Response-Ability." Here is an excerpt from the chapter: "All of the dreams of being a new mother, the thrill i had felt while preparing the nursery, were now dispelled as the reality of the immense responsibilities of a baby hit me full force. Struggling to overcome my fears, i nuzzled my baby boy's fussy head. 'help me Lord,' i prayed. 'i don't know what i'm doing. i can't do this. i love him so much! i am afraid of messing up. i need Your help!'
Then, because He knew i was desperate, the Lord gave me this thought: 'You're making it too complicated. it's actually quite simple. Your sole responsibility is -- response - ability. just respond to his needs to the best of your ability and leave the results to Me.'
Responding - that was much more doable than controlling.
Leaving the results to God - that was much more desirable than the final answer.
Was this the last time i felt overwhelmed by my responsibilities as a mother? I wish! Like every other mother i have talked with, i have questioned my abilities as a mother nearly every day. i continue to worry that i am messing up. Just respond to your children's needs to the best of your ability and leave the results to Him."

I thought that was a neat way to look at the word Responsibility. I have dealt with that same feeling - dealing with a toddler and their terrible tantrums leaves me often dumbfounded. i end up questioning every motive i have taken with him. I would go back as far as birth!
Just like i tell my husband to give all the control to God (mostly concerning job and finances) i should be telling myself the same thing toward motherhood. I love my son! I want what is best for him. I guess the best for him is to give him the best of me and leave the rest to God.

I'm sure i will be blogging more on this book later.

Tonight i am very excited! Ryan and i have a date night! We have not had one in a long while...i think since April. Since he's been doing school and work full time, it's been hard to really focus on one another. Throw a toddler in the mix and there is zero time for one on one time with my husband. haha. Don't get me wrong i love love love my life!...i'm just thankful i get to have an evening alone with my favorite man!
Well, i'd better go get ready while james is napping! have a great day everyone!

MY LITTLE DOODLEBUG!

THANKFUL THURSDAY

Whew, i am exhausted today. James woke up in the middle of the night for the first time in a loooonnnggg time. I almost felt like i was dreaming when i went to check on him. He was crying, the uncunsolable kind. I rocked him for a bit until he settled down. I wanted so badly to bring him in our bed for the night, because i think he had a bad dream. It kills me to leave him in his room when i know he was scared. I prayed over his room while i rocked him and turned on his worship lullabys. He managed to fall back to sleep until 730am. So lets see if this blog makes since....my eyes are starting to close slowly. haha.
Here are some things that i am thankful for: God's protection
~ Late night talks with Ryan
~ Simply Orange juice
~ James learning to say words such as "ike" (bike), "Uck" (truck), "ar" (star or car) "wuv ooo" (love you) "ye" (bye)
~ Trip to Chuck E Cheese with Gammy and Abbi
~ Nights Ryan doesn't have school
~ Family Dinners
~ Ryan's job
~ God's peace
~ my Dr. - Allana Oak - she is wonderful!
~ good report on pap smear test!
~ The sound of rain on trees and leaves - when the house is quiet enough to hear it!
Like i said, i am tired. Gammy and i took Abbi and james to Chuck E Cheese for the first time. Then we went to the mall to ride the train there. After that we grabbed some lunch and took it back to my house to eat. Now James and Abbi are both napping and Gammy and i are breathing a little more steady. haha. It takes a lot out of you trying to carry around two toddlers! But they had so much fun today! Here are a few pictures from the eventful day:


JAMES SITTING IN THE CONDUCTOR SEAT


JAMES AND ABBI RIDING THE ROLLER COASTER RIDE


PLAYING A GAME TOGETHER


JAMES DRIVING WITH ONE HAND ON THE WHEEL (THIS WAS HIS FAVORITE)


IN THE CAR

ALL BOY.

Today, the rain seemed to finally subside for a while so i took it as an opportune time to take James outside. He loves being outside and plus it will wear him out a little more before nap time. Once outside, James found his lawn mower and began pushing it around on the deck while i straightened up the deck. next thing i knew, he was in ankle deep water from a puddle. He looked at me and smiled as he was swishing his feet back and forth in the rain water. I paused for a moment and knew i could go one of two ways with this situation. It was almost lunch time, would i rather damper his boyhood by making him stop playing in the water (so i wouldn't have to clean him up) or bask in the enjoyment of watching my son play safely like a boy? Usually clean comes before play. haha. Some days i am just not in the mood to clean up an "unessesary" messes. Today was different. Instead of making him come inside before he got any wetter/muddier, i took off his sandals so he could walk through the water barefoot. At first he looked at me with a surprise look like, "is mommy really going to let me get dirty?" I gave him the go ahead...and he just loved it! My son is all boy when it comes to life. He loves to get dirty and explore the unknown. I'm just so happy i get to be here right beside him while he explores and learns. Cause lets face it, i am the one who is with him all day long...who else is going to teach him how to have fun? Having a boy has made me learn all over again how to have fun and even get dirty a little bit. It was such a wonderful afternoon despite the mess i had to clean up. Here are a few pictures of James playing the muddy water.

"SONS ARE A HERITAGE FROM THE LORD, CHILDREN A REWARD FROM HIM." PSALM 127:3

THANKFUL THURSDAY

Things i am thankful for this week: ~ My brother and his family are here for a visit
~ Nephew Luke's surgery went well
~ Car is paid off!
~ Ryan's job
~ Rocking James before his nap
~ Papa John's pizza
~ Ryan is home from business trip
~God's unwavering love!

Have a thankful day everyone!

The Aquarium

Ryan took a half day last Friday so we could take james to the Newport Aquarium for the first time. Well, Fridays are a busy day to go, but we had no choice. We were the excited parents! Taking joy in pointing out every single fish in the place. James laughed, pointed, oooed and ahhhed at everything! Not sure if he will remember the trip, but i know that we will. It was such a nice family day! Here are a few pictures from the trip to the Aquarium:

RYAN AND JAMES POSING WITH PENGUINS


JAMES HUGGING THE PENGUINS


JAMES WITH THE PENGUINS




JAMES AND MOMMY WATCHING THE SHARKS


WATCHING THE SHARKS

Thankful Thursday

Yes, another week has flown by. I have been convicted lately. I have not been so quick to be thankful...i have put problems, situations i can't change, and things i lack to be the forerunners in life this week. If i continually dwell on negative things....my attitude will reflect that. How much better of a person would i be if i was always thankful even while going through trials? There is always something to be thankful for!

~James said "wuv ooo."
~Ryan's job
~My job at T&C
~Air conditioning
~Money for Groceries
~Movie Night on Tuesday
~My family
~My feet that i am constantly standing on
~Ryan's half day at work tomorrow
~The sacrifice Jesus made so i can come to God as i am

Have a Thankful Thursday everyone!

This was just too cute to pass up on posting.

Over the weekend, Ryan had to mow our grass. James has his own little (noisy) mower that he pushes around all the time. I have put it outside for him to use only as an outside toy now - too noisy. James wants so badly to be just like him daddy, instead of going back and forth on our deck to "mow", james decides to follow right behind Ryan and mow the grass. So cute! He wants to be just like his daddy, which make me happy!

So long Insecurity

I have been reading a Beth Moore book called "So long insecurity." It has gotten better as i read. I am a fan of Beth Moore, so i decided to read one of her books. I saw this one because the title stuck out to me. As i have read through her heartfelt words, i realized that i was still dealing with insecurities. The book goes into detail about the insecurities that we as women and even men deal with. I have to be honest, i thought i was pretty secure until i picked up this book. I have been able to let certain things actually heal because of things said in this book. Here are some exerpts from the book:

"...By choosing to have a different reaction even prior to having a different emotion, we can affect an immediate sense of heightened security. The reaction leads to a new feeling, and the new feeling leads to more consistent reactions....
one of the most common human claims is that we cannot change the way we feel. that may be true, but we can change the way we think, which will change the way we act. and as we change the way we act, the way we feel also begins to change. in the breaking of every habit, someone wills it first and feels it later. whatever you do, don't shrug your shoulders and decide the prospect is too hard to do and too much to ask. What could be harder than fighting a lifelong battle with insecurity? Thank God we don't have to wait until we feel more secure to start acting more secure. That's the heart of living by faith until we live by sight. By faith you summon what is inside to the outside.
We will always have triggers of insecurity, but we get to decide whether or not we're going to take the bait. I don't recommend having no reaction. we are human beings with God-given emotions and visceral responses that don't always show up politely. one reason God wrapped our souls in limber flesh was to give our emotions a means of expression.

We can be hurt without being insecure.
we can be diappointed without also being insecure.
we can be shocked without also being insecure.
We can be unsure without also being insecure.
we can even be humbled without also being insecure.

Insecurity is more than a complex emotion. it is a lie about our God-sanctioned condition. While something may cause us to feel sad, confused, angry, or threatened, we have the power to choose whether or not it gets to assault our security. The next time someone says or does something to you that has the capacity to dent your security, instantly think one of these thoughts toward that person:
You can hurt my feelings, but you cannot have my security. i won't let you. it's mine to keep. you cannot have it. Who you are doesn't dwarf who i am. my security is mine to keep. You cannot have it."

I have found that not only people but also situations and our culture can make us insecure. in the book there was a story about a woman who was standing in line at a grocery store and she looked at a magazine cover and there of course there were women with huge breasts in swimsuits. This woman, had a double mastectomy because of cancer. So everywhere she went she only saw what she did not have...breasts. While waiting in line, she silently testified to God and said, 'nothing has the power to make me less of a woman. i'm not going to let a pair of breasts tell me who i'm not.' How awesome!

We as women are clothed with dignity and strength. Proverbs 31:25 "She is clothed with dignity and strength..."

I am not done with the book yet, but i already feel so empowered. Not in a feminist way like "all men are dogs" kind of thing. I just am finding out more and more about the woman God created me to be - free from worry, fear, and insecurity....And i want to live my life clothed with dignity and strength!

Thankful Thursday

We are always surrounded by so many things that could knock us off our rocker with worry and fear. I was hit with that a little bit today. My hubby is having some difficulties with his work....we do not know what will happen over the summer and we are wanting to add on to our little Burkart family. Automatically when faced with hard/difficult situations, we lose hope and cling onto worry, doubt, and fear. I have learned that by living in worry you miss out on so much. You overlook all of the wonderful things God has given you in life. So today i am going to defy all my worrying, doubts, and fears and just be thankful. Somehow when you are thankful....the worry seems to fade into hope.
Things i am thankful for: -My son James, who always makes me smile
- My husband who gives me so much love
- our house
- air conditioning!
- My husband's job
- My Parents and 3 Brothers
-My Bible Group Ladies!
- Fridge full of groceries
- Legs that can chase a toddler
- Chips and black bean salsa
- Rocking my baby
-The quiet and stillness in the house
right after james falls asleep
- Walks with my family
-Pictures of my nieces and nephews
- My Savior's sweet Love!

Have a thankful day!

Eyes of a Child

Today has been such a great day. laid back enough for me to just take time and enjoy my baby boy. We lathered up in sunscreen to go play in the sunshine. I laid out while i watched and admired how everything is so exciting to my little 20 month old. Every time an airplane flys over head, he drops whatever he is doing looks at me and opens his mouth really wide and gasps. haha. Then he points at the amazing thing flying through the sky.
That got me thinking, how amazing would it be if we had eyes like a child. My son is literally a fearless little thing. He is also very curious which could result in safety issues and heart attacks for a mama. haha. James loves trying to catch bees, jump and run through mulch, and sit on daddy's motorcycle. Yes, those are all boy traits...but does he have to explore such dangerous things so soon? He looks at everything as an adventure and as something to explore and discover. He does not see the world as a harmful place. The closet thing he has come to fear is going to the church nursery. haha. (he does not like it!) He takes in everything with a smile and open heart. To see someone who hasn't been scarred by the ways of life is just so....well...innocence is the only word that comes to mind. The innocence of a child....there is nothing like that.
In Pslam 127:3 says "...children are a reward from Him." That is so true to me. Despite the days and hours where i want to pull my hair out....i consider myself the most blessed woman to have my son James.
Another example of why would should take lessons from our children is found in Matthew 18:1-4 "At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said, 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
So parents, lets take a lesson from our toddlers and try to see life through their eyes.


James loves petting animals!


James wanted to ride on the big tractor!


....Always smiles!